Do you remember back in the 1990’s when a self-help guru boasted claims that any relationship could be fixed if we would just realize that men and women are wired differently? Men were apparently not of this world, they were Martians…. And us women? Well we were from Venus… and just knowing that fact was going to somehow change our lives…. Well John Gray, the author of the Mars/Venus books was actually on to something… We ARE wired differently… And that rings true for men and women that suffer from Chronic Pain.
A new survey on www.healthywomen.org shows the gender differences in how we experience and perceive chronic pain. This study is part of a new educational campaign, “She Said, He Said: Understanding Gender and Pain”.
Did you know that 59% of women believe that others view them as “complainers” in regards to their pain and only 36% of men feel the same? Did you know that just over half of women (53%) wish family members would take their pain more seriously, and almost 50% also believe that men are taken more seriously than women are in the Doctor’s office?
We might have differences when it comes to Chronic Pain, but we have some similarities as well. This study found similarities in areas such as pain intensity, and the effect that pain has on interpersonal relationships.
When it comes to chronic pain, are men and women living on different planets?
If you have a few minutes, click on the link and go check it out for yourself… It really was worth the read…
Happy Friday, and hugs and love to all of you!!
Here is the recap of what I wanted to do:
As my “readers”, coworkers, friends, and family know, I spent last week at the Mayo Clinic in Rochester, Minnesota. I ended up having to stay a day longer than expected and while I was there, had many tests/procedures done and (luckily) many things ruled out, which was a blessing!
in the late 1800’s, as well as gorgeous and unique blown-glass chandeliers, plates from the White House, an old-fashioned “carriage” ambulance, etc. Notably, almost everyone in Minnesota – especially the hospital staff and hotel ppl – were extremely nice, accommodating, pleasant and helpful! It WAS really cold (high temps of 5 degrees, windchill factors of negative 27!) but it is quite neat because there are enclosed walkways connecting everthing: hospital, mall, hotels, salons, restaurants, stores,
etc.
and so they think that the ringing/slight hearing loss is from Celiac damage, or maybe even my past bout with Bell’s Palsy, and nothing they can really do, it is not particularly treatable or curable – I could have the ringing forever, or it could stop tomorrow – the slight loss is permanent but is not too bad that it affects my life. I’ve had this for almost two years, and at most, this will be a slight annoyance that I will, in time, not even notice, most likely! I have scoliosis, which means my spine is slightly curved, which I never knew….and also some sort of bump or bone fragmant on my C4 Cervical Spine that I’ll need to get looked at (again, something I didn’t know about, but it could be contributing to some pain, my knee problems, sore neck, headaches, etc.) Last but not least, I have a tiny cyst on my kidney but it is nothing at all to worry about according to doctors. Don’t know what it is from, but I don’t really care, since it isn’t anything to worry about! It is just something to monitor again in a few years and is basically not a big deal. Oh, and I was also diagnosed with chronic daily headaches and migraines, as well as slight neuropathy, all of which I already knew that I had. The neurologist at Mayo said she can’t say what caused/causes them but would guess they are Celiac-related, like everything else probably is.
My (third) upper endoscopy went quite well, it seems. As far as the surgeon could see “to the naked eye with the scope, everything looks ok…which is good! (In some past ones, there was visible intestinal damage.) They tried to get aspirations of stomach fluid but there was not enough to take samples of . They did, however, manage to take 8+ biopsies. While I was at the Mayo Clinic, I got an X-Ray of my spine, Bone Density test, 16 vials of blood taken, CT of abdomen/pelvis, and an upper endoscopy with 8 or 9 biopsies. I also had consults with gastroenterology, endocrinology, rheumatology, and neurology docs and gave some of my blood to be part of a Mayo Clinic Celiac Study. One test that they sent out may not be back for a month. This test was for autoimmune enteropathy. They are also looking for amyloidosis and Collagenous Sprue & true Refractory Celiac but since my endoscopy looked OK they do not think that it is either of these, and I hope not b/c these are more dangerous than regular Celiac, but like anything I will get through whatever it turns out to be!
facial….I was feeling refreshed and rejuvenated! I recommend that everyone get one at least once in life.)
I’m also very thankful to have this as a venue in which to share my story. I try not to complain, so when I get to vent through writing and share ALL of the ups & downs, goods & bads, and the reality, simply stated, of every day life for myself and many others like me, it feels wonderful. No one should have to suffer silently, and, ya know, we all have our “down” days… but having an online community of support makes staying positive a little easier! One thing that saddens me is that some people – usually those without health problems – think that ’stating the facts’ is complaining. If I tell someone that I have a headache, or “oh my arthritis is flaring today” – I don’t see that as complaining. Do you? If I have a “the world is out to get me” bitter attitude, or whine 24/7, or do the whole “woe is me” thing – that is a different story. This is annoying, as are people who complain constantly about nothing, not knowing how good that they have it. (That’s a whole other blog in and of itself! Ha.) I complain about 1/10 … maybe even 1/100 … of how much I COULD be, and that’s more than some peopel do – I know many people are suffering and do not feel comfortable venting AT ALL. That isn’t fair to these folks. So I want to tell you ALL that if you are hurting – physically or otherwise – vent to me! Bring on the complaining! I truly don’t mind (if you do actually have real reason to complain)….because, for me, sharing your own story is part of the journey, part of dealing with your struggles, and, I think, a part of healing! Also: look at it this way – if someone asked how you felt one day and you were feeling fabulous and healthy and happy and said so, there isn’t anything wrong with that. However, if your health is bad, and your answer is, “hangin’ in there” or “not so hot today” or something along those lines – that is seen as negative to some. Why? It’s just as true an answer as “fine” — and a heck of a lot more honest! What are your thoughts? Should we have to mask our truth? No one wants to be friends with a Negative Nancy or a Debbie Downer, but, the reality is that these things ARE *our* reality! This being said, you do not have to become cynical, bitter, or pessimistic all the time – that’ll get you nowhere fast….and we have to learn to keep on smiling & to “play through the pain!” You can still be nice and sweet to others, be happy, and lead a wonderful and blessed life, but also still be honest and true to yourself and others about what you were going through. I think that it takes a strong person to be open and honest. So, I invite you all to share in my journey by sharing YOUR own stories, because, after all, one of my main purposes seems to be to let people know that no matter WHAT you are struggling with, healthwise or other, you are NOT alone! 
~ Ashley Boynes
