perfect timing!

Last night as I was getting ready for my much anticipated bath (since for the Dermatologist “patch tests” I could not shower or bathe Tuesday through Friday of last week,) I took my shirt off and just began to sob in a very manic way. Ever since I’ve been sick, on top of that I have to like fucking take my clothes off for doctors to examine this or that…blah, blah. It’s a very violating feeling, even though I understand it and know it’s in my best interest. But everything with the doctors, the drives downtown, the needing my mom and Pedro so much and being so sick and hurting…I just was looking at myself in the mirror and balling my eyes out.

I came back to my room to shut off my laptop, and FaceBook was still on the screen…and I had a message from a friend I went to Grade School with back in the mid-to-late 80’s. It was a guy that I wasn’t really friends with per say, but ya know…we knew each other to some degree. He wanted to apologize for “teasing me” back in my awkward years when I was developing my vitiligo skin disorder and severe depression. I told him that it meant a lot to me….and I meant it in the biggest way.

We chatted for hours about his life now, my life now…and it was so sweet. I didn’t feel ashamed to be me. And I was so happy to hear about his romantic life with another classmate I went to school with. How cute that they hooked up after all this time, and now they are having a baby.

He kept asking me for specific things he said or did that might have hurt me. And I told him it was so long ago, it’s OK. We were kids then, too honest for our own good. Now we’re grown up and more sensitive and mature, and that everything was cool between us. But the way he kept asking, really touched me. Like he really wanted me to know that I was an OK person…and that it hurt him to know that maybe he hurt me.

He is the ONLY person from my past to ever of apologized for teasing me during my awkward ugo  pre-teen era. I told him the worst of the teasing was from High School…but the girls I talk with now from on there just accept me and like me….and it’s like…so refreshing to feel…accepted and understood.

I can’t quite say my life is peachy-fucking-keen because of any of this…but it probably helped heal a very aged self-esteem wound that I’ve carried around with me for 20 some odd years. I doubt he would ever read this, but in case he does…THANK YOU!!! It’s wonderful to finally become friends. (((HUGS to you and your lovely lady)))